Life

I am trying to put down how I feel, my thoughts and emotions but I feel a little apprehensive of whose eyes might fall upon this tiny space and perhaps insignificant words. Ignoring that, I still find it difficult to pen down this feeling within.

It's amazing the way things are turning out. I am incredibly thankful and feel truly blessed. Sometimes I don't believe half the things that are happening and feel as though it is a dream. It actually takes a few days before I truly believe it truly is happening to me, of all people.

There's this feeling of happiness where you just want to hug the person right in front of you at that instant which I had to restrain myself due to it being totally inappropriate. Thankfully my rational side kicked in for one tiny second and hence I excused myself promptly and proceeded to find someone else to hug. Haha.... I thought that only happened in movies. Guess I'm proven wrong once again. =)

All the worrying and stress and actually obtaining some good news was a real relief. To be told an additional piece of information which was totally unexpected made me speechless and actually questioned it twice to ensure I heard things properly. Then to obtain another cherry on top of the cake is....... indescribable.

I feel truly thankful for all the wonderful events and the love being showered upon little me.

I want to remember this feeling, always ~
You never left my side, despite my naive thoughts, my silly childish moments;
You guided and showed me the things I needed to see;
I am who I am because of every single blessing in life that has been bestowed upon me; for which I am eternally grateful.

Did you miss me? =P

If you're reading this (I doubt strangers read my blog... at least that's what I like to think >.<), I probably miss you too! ^^

Feel weirdly and oddly happy. It's as though a huge happy bubble emerged and burst inside me into a trillion zillion billion many many MANY tiny happy bubbles. Gosh.... I just realised I seem to be describing a champagne bottle being shook vigorously. -.-

No idea why but just HAPPY! Hehe...

So far things have been going great. I've seen and learn lots of thing and perhaps there's a few which I probably wouldn't have liked to know but all's good. I'm getting pretty good at this! ^^

HAPPY!
pardon me for this crazy burst of happiness~ Ooo... hopefully happiness is contagious and it brightens your day toO! YAY!! Okay, shall stop now before I type more embarrassing stuff.

toodles ~

It has been an interesting 2 days. =)

Message if you'd like to know more. =P
Hehehhehehe....

^^

Results day...

I hoped for 70%, just to scrape a first as this had been a tough year.

I was pleasantly surprised and then some. I didn't think I would feel this way anymore. It is absolutely amazing, to say the least. =)

To do something without expectations and purely because you like to is not an easy feat.

I dislike goodbyes.

I amaze myself sometimes at how I get so attach to people whom I barely know even and care about them (not that they know since it might potentially freak people out) and I actually feel sad when they leave.

I think about a lot of people though I don't talk to them on a regular basis, not even rarely and even if I think I'd not ever talk to them again. It just feels a little weird especially when time passes by and you figure they'd have created a good life for themselves surrounded by their bunch of friends whom they share stuff with and you become one of those people they used to know. I realise the wall people build around them and the secret key a few possess to whom they share stuff with. I dislike shallow talk especially those that make up for the otherwise awkward silence but I suppose its unavoidable.

At times I dislike myself for caring so much cause it hurts in a way. I guess I still hope to be able to talk to everyone like how things use to be though I understand how hugely impossible it is, but I can still wish, can't I? sigh... I miss all my friends.

I resign to the occasional newsfeed and updates on the various networking sites to hear a little about them and hope they are happy and hopefully one day we'll be able to sit down and talk once more, honestly sincerely without the facade everyone's building up. Sometimes I wonder why people mean so much to me... the lengths I go to for some... it's really silly at times but I suppose that's just me.

p.s. transformers 2 was good! =)

Transformers TOMORROW!! *hopefully!* Hehee... and karaoke session too ~

Yay! =)

I feel happy today. It's really nice to be able to talk to friends and somehow it makes me feel as though I'm back in high school again with all the familiar faces, sounds and laughter. ^^

I think I am slowly finding out what I want and how everything is fitting in together. I am truly blessed. *happy!*

p.s. Had a sushi party the other day. 4 people and approx 8 cups of rice. GAH! I'm definitely putting on SO MUCH weight. Holiday and having so much time to experiment with food is a definite recipe for weight gain. ^.^

p.p.s. Lack of pics due to my faulty camera and pics all with friends who have yet to get back to me with them but I think they are uploaded on facebook.

FUn fun FUN and boring moments too...

Been experimenting with recipes, some turning out nice, others not... BUT still edible! =P

Tried cooking risotto, pineapple fried rice and baking a few things here and there. I think it's safe to say I am putting on weight! >.<

Finished reading Salem Falls and watched loads of movies and shows. Feels like a true holiday!! Wheee ~~~

Might have a sushi party one of these days and dinners and karaoke sessions and probably head to the movies! Lalalaaaa.... happy!

Not to forget having the whole day to play computer games! =D

Got a haircut today! It felt really nice going to the hairdresser. Haha... I feel so deprived of all these small privilleges. Hmm... feels weird how these small things makes me happy. I suppose it's a good thing. =)

Went for an indoors picnic after that (since it was rainy weather again). Played pictionary and got to meet a few people. It was rather nervewrecking when I had to go up and draw. Gah.... Thankfully my team mates were really really REALLY good at guessing. They managed 'cheshire cat', 'cliffhanger', 'AC/DC' etc. I had no idea how to draw 'vortex' though. Hmm... even now, I can't think of how I would do it.

Suppose to go for dinner and karaoke session but feel a bit tired after the day's events. Stayed in and had a drama marathon. =P OOooo... not to forget, we baked chocolate crinkles!! They are super yummy!! Hehehe... Will upload pics later! ^^

Bye bye stockholm~

Back to England and it was BBQ day with my coursemates!!

Touched down, had lunch and after a short rest we went shopping for BBQ stuffs. It was suppose to be a simple fun outing with a bunch of friends but.... there was such drama.

Thankfully everything went well and things were all good. =)

It was fun to be outdoors and I like seeing charcoal burning. However, there was quite a lot of burnt food. >.< Hopefully we will manage to improve and 'rescue' the food in time.

Happy but very tiring day.

Stockholm day 2! =)

Went around Gamla Stan area. The buildings are all very well kept, it seems as though they are painted yearly and look like bigger versions of miniature houses; square neat little blocks. Very adorable! ^^

Then it was Grona Lund time!! HAPPY! ^^

Hehehe..... super happy dayyyy!! But had a super super long tiring walk to Hard Rock cafe in the evening. Wasn't as expected but oh well, it was an experience.

OH! Managed to catch a live concert in the park after that. There were little food stands all around the area and a huge place with benches and tables for people to enjoy the food. The atmosphere was amazing! Felt so lucky to be a part of it. Wonderful way to end the evening. =)

Super happy day!!

Stockholm! =)))

Woke up SUPER early and took a cab to the airport. The weather was rather rainy but that didn't stop us from having fun and travelling around.

First stop IKEA! Hehe... or rather, McD's since it was raining and we were hungry. The Ikea there was HUGE and they had super cheap hotdogs. =) There were free shuttle buses to and fro the city too. I thought that was rather nice of them to provide free transportation.

Did some sightseeing after that and met lots and lots of nice people. They are just so friendly and try their best to help. The cars on the road always stop and let people cross and they don't blare their horns at you either. The same goes for cyclist. Felt so welcomed and relaxed.

Stayed at 'af chapman' hostel where we had rooms on board a ship. It was a unique experience and the ship was really pretty. =) I took the bottom bunk.

There was some high school graduation or party or something going on. The streets were filled with noise of teenagers jumping around at the back of trucks, blowing whistles and pouring beer out the sides. It was a rare sight and the noise was just deafening.

OOooo... had a mega huge ice-cream after that. SO happY! =D

Hmm... too bad no pictures yet. Will upload when I get them.

Okie, that's all for now. =)

Hmmm.... turnout to today's sports activity wasn't good. Perhaps people were tired or slept in since it was rather early in the morning. =(

Played a little basketball while waiting for others to turn up. Learnt a little on how to shoot but felt rather weird doing those movements. >.<

Switched to badminton after that which was rather funny since a friend was given a 'handicap' by playing with his left hand instead of his right. Hehe... turned out to be rather entertaining. =)

OH! Played a little shooting hoops game which the guys taught us. Got really stuck in the first positinon but moved on pretty quick after that. YAY!

Fun fun fun day!~ =)

Played football and netball in the main sports hall with my coursemates again.

The netball game was pretty funny since most didn't know the rules and there were a few basketball movements here and there. Hehe... hilarious.

Headed for lunch at 'Dirty Duck' after that. It felt really nice to hang out and talk about fun stuff instead of work. =) HAPPY!

I am finally done with year 3. Gosh it has been a mad run. Finished two actuarial papers yesterday and had a paper this morning. Needless to say, I didn't study much for today's paper and probably just passed.

Oh well, that's over and done with. =)

Hmm... oddly, this whole sense of having nothing to do feels so new. I keep feeling I am being lazy, I'm just wasting time and I should be studying or doing something. Then, I realised I have 4 long months of holiday!!!

Studying, worrying being pushed to the limits with assignments and tests for 5 long long LONG months really takes its toll or perhaps it's the degree.

I think I shall go off now and re-learn how to enjoy my holiday and actually not feel guilty for stepping outdoors, watching a little tv or even sleeping in. Gah.. I feel so deprived.

p.s. it totally dawned on me that sometimes I don't step outside the flat for days and when I do, it's either for grocery shopping or to do the laundry. -.- That feels really sad.

YAY ME!! I survived the 5 hours of exam on a SATURDAY! Whoopee!!! Bye bye probability theory, bye bye principles of finance! HAH!

Finished with mathematical programming 3 today which was okay. lalalaaa...

Next up, another killer two days. Gah! I can do thiS!! I feel so tired, seems as though I've lost the stamina to sit for endless exams. I feel old. >.<

Anyway, two actuarial papers on Thursday (stupid exam timetable), hope my brain will magically remember everything. According to lecturer, we're going to be rushed for time. Sigh.. guess I better practise writing really fast too. Then my last paper on Friday! Wheeee.... though I haven't revise for that. >.<

Four - five hours after thursday's exam to revise. Hope that will be enough. =)

I am happy, for now. Haha... probably get stressed out later with actuarial stuffs.

Tata for now! =)

I sat for my bayesian statistics and decision anaysis paper today. OMG! It was sooooooo long and we had two hours to complete three questions where questions are 3/4 and one question the full length of the page. GAH! Crazy!!

Plus, the questions are in paragraphs, i.e. chunks and chunks of words, no part(i), part(ii) etc. Only part(a) a whole chunk of perhaps 4-5 parts, part(b) another chunk etc. Basically, it's read question start writing, no time to think.

If you don't know and pause to think, you basically run out of time and have no time to finish. So so panicky and stressful!

I was rushing and rushing and there was one part which I didn't know and therefore I just simply wrote something down and skipped it.

When there was 2 minutes left, I finally managed to finish going through the paper, and went back to look at that question. I realised how to do but guess what, no time left! =( So sad lah!

Haiz... no time to check for mistakes and there were other parts which I didn't know how to do too! I think I need to not only study but also practise to write really really REALLY fast.

Now, joy to exams on Saturday, 5 hours in total. I am soooooo dead.

Yesterday was a scary day. For no obvious reason I suddenly felt unwell and the room was literally spinning. I opened my eyes whilst lying in bed and say the ceiling turn clockwise and anticlockwise while the lights moved up and down in a blurry manner. I thought this only happened in movies where they exaggerate things.

Thankfully I'm all better today. That was super scary and frightening! Needless to say, not much studying done.

4 days till exams....

Hope I'll manage to get everything into my brain and make sure it sticks somehow.

p.s. It is totally annoying when answers to past exam papers are not provided. How am I going to know if it's right or wrong? Gah!

10 days till exams! 7 papers, 9 days. I can do this! ^^

On another note, happy mothers' day to my dearest mum!
Glad you liked the flowers. It's the least I could do. =)

Back to studying.... Whee... ~ =P